The Most Dramatic Podcast Yet

We Are Really Trying to Turn Rayden Into The Next Bennifer...

November 02, 2023 Christel Bartelse and Paul Constable
The Most Dramatic Podcast Yet
We Are Really Trying to Turn Rayden Into The Next Bennifer...
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Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Ever wondered about the ins and outs of reality television dating shows? Join your hosts, Paul Constable and Christel Bartelse, for a lively discussion on the latest episode of 'Bachelor in Paradise'. As we sip on our favorite cocktails and share our Bachelor dreams, we dissect the potential candidates for the magical date and ponder over the intriguing teaser at the start of the episode. 

Expanding the conversation, we delve into the intricate dynamics of the group date, the contestants' relationship with the ever-mysterious Gerry, and the intense rivalry brewing among the women. We also offer our take on Ellen's emotional roller coaster with Gerry and the surprise rose decision that leaves everyone on edge. We'll spill the tea on overnight dates, Sam's social media presence, and Sean's drastic job-quitting decision to stay on the show. 

To cap it off, we analyze the latest drama, including the heated tension between Tanner and Kat, the unexpectedly hilarious montage featuring Tanner and Davia, and Kat's ungrateful birthday scene. We also shed light on the truth or dare game, Olivia's unforgettable moment with John Henry, and the heart-to-heart between Jess and Blake. And for the fans of Rachel and Brayden, we have a special segment looking at how their relationship has evolved since Rachel's stint on the Bachelorette. So come along, prepare for hearty laughter, juicy gossip, and an engaging breakdown of 'Bachelor in Paradise'.

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Paul Constable:

The Most Dramatic Podcast. The Most Dramatic Podcast. The Most Dramatic Podcast.

Christel Bartelse:

The Most Dramatic Podcast. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Paul Constable:

Hey everyone, I am Christel Bartelse and I'm excited to be here tonight.

Christel Bartelse:

I can sense your excitement from across, oh honestly if that came across sarcastic I am always excited to come and talk to you, paul. It's actually really hard because I don't have many people I can talk about this with and the few people that were in my life that love the Bachelor, bachelor at Bachelor in Paradise as much as we do, I just I haven't been seeing them lately, so it's not even like I can. So you are the person like. This brings me joy.

Paul Constable:

Whenever they do, like one of those you know, they show the people watching the Bachelor and there's a big party. And I get jealous. I'm like where are the Bachelor parties that we should be invited to? We may have to move to like Milwaukee or something.

Christel Bartelse:

I know, and we should even have like I think we've just discussed this before but we should have our own little vehicle that we go in and you know, it's all decorated.

Paul Constable:

We have a Most Dramatic Podcast. Most Dramatic Podcast, yet Wrap around car.

Christel Bartelse:

Advertisement would be incredible. We're going to get there one day. We're going to get there, I know it, and we're not even going to drive it ourselves.

Paul Constable:

We're going to have a driver.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, because we'll be doing the podcast live from the car. Oh, that would be incredible, and you can still wear your shirt and then when we go up at people's houses, they'll be like oh my God, some people from the podcast, as always, even though you guys can't see us. That's a little bit disappointing that we don't have crazy shirts on Bikini's bathing suits, but Paul just held up his specialty whiskey. It's a Manhattan.

Paul Constable:

Oh, good choice Pre-made.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, pre-made, I'm more of a Negroni, but I like a Manhattan. I like a Negroni yeah, old-fashioned.

Paul Constable:

Oh, I love an old-fashioned yeah yeah, and it's fun to order too. It makes you feel like you're in the 1920s or something like that. So this is just called them fashion back then.

Christel Bartelse:

Is that a? Thing?

Paul Constable:

I don't know I'm just because we call it an old. They were just like give me a fashion.

Christel Bartelse:

Hello, wakey wakey, I'm with you, I'm with you.

Paul Constable:

Okay, let's get right to.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, we are. We are going a little bit on Golden Bachelor but, as Paul and I had just mentioned, bachelor in Paradise best episode yet. So we've got lots to cover there. And, as Paul had just mentioned, golden Bachelor maybe the worst episode we're going to whip through it. We do open with Leslie crying.

Paul Constable:

Yes.

Christel Bartelse:

Which was very weird. Have you noticed there was? I thought it was Faith. No, it was Lesley. I thought Leslie was crying. Oh, you know what, those two women, I do get them mixed up. No, I'm almost positive it was Leslie crying. Leslie, the dancer woman, the one that's Okay. I apologize, I thought but now I feel like I need to go back and watch it. I wrote down Leslie and I didn't have a Manhattan.

Paul Constable:

I'm the one with a little bit of alcohol in me, so we'll go with you, but the whole thing is that it doesn't really pay off though.

Christel Bartelse:

No, no, but this is what I wanted to say to you. Haven't you noticed that the last couple of episodes they always have like I don't know what we call it, Not really a soft open, I don't know. This teaser at the beginning.

Paul Constable:

All the teaser, I think.

Christel Bartelse:

But it's always been someone crying or someone whispering. I don't know what they're doing with that. It's not necessary.

Paul Constable:

I used to watch a lot of and I'm not really proud to say this the Hawaii 5.0 reboot, and they would always do like Crazy car crash, guns out. Oh my God, the lead character is about to be thrown off a building. And then they would go three days earlier.

Christel Bartelse:

And I was like right, an interesting story.

Paul Constable:

Like I know that we're not going to get thrown off a building and it's a sting or something, but that's what I think they're trying to do without the three days earlier. They're just trying to.

Christel Bartelse:

Fascinating.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay so.

Paul Constable:

You could have Fascinating, fascinating Without the intention, showing that you were not fascinated at all.

Christel Bartelse:

I don't know. Fair with me, I'm a little bit loopy.

Paul Constable:

And I haven't had on go Boring and I would have been like yep.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, but we learned that all the women that are left obviously have very strong feelings for Gary and it's getting tense right now because they all want to end up with him. And then we learn that one of these women is going to get this magical date.

Paul Constable:

Yep Best date ever.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, and it's going to be really special and this is why Leslie I believe it was Leslie's crying, because she has such an attached attachment to Gary and she really wants it to be her.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, you're right. Yeah, now they call her the fitness instructor Leslie. Yeah, but she was a former dancer, is that right?

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah, prince's dancer, which I still need to go and fact check. But we get the date card and we learn that it's going to be faith going on, this magical date, which does send Leslie in a bit of a tailspin. She's upset and then, my favorite part of the whole episode, I instantly thought of you, because we show Gary driving in a convertible. They didn't learn from the first time.

Paul Constable:

No, they didn't learn. I think he was on the North American side of the wheel, at least this time, versus driving British style.

Christel Bartelse:

It was. Anyway. I just can't believe they made him get back in a convertible. But he goes and picks up faith, and then the surprise is they go in a helicopter which faith is over the moon, they're having a really great time, and then they go and land on a yacht.

Paul Constable:

That would be pretty awesome.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, that is incredible. I would love to do something like that. Obviously, Gary has strong feelings for faith, but we also know that he has strong feelings for a lot of women.

Paul Constable:

Yes.

Christel Bartelse:

And then faith were whipping through this, but faith is. I don't ask because you've ever been on a helicopter I have in Australia over the ocean road, which was pretty epic.

Paul Constable:

Mine was over Vegas. I was in a big canyon and then came back over Vegas and played sweet emotion in my headset while we were looking at like the strip and I was like this may be the greatest moment of my life.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh yeah, I don't, you know it's funny, though. I mean my helicopter experience. I don't know how long ago yours was. I'm going to say mine was about, let's say, 12 years ago, 12, 13 years 2008. Oh, okay, my point is, at the time I didn't think twice about it. I did it. It was incredible experience. I don't know if I'd go on a helicopter now.

Paul Constable:

I'm not sure I would do it just for that Grand Canyon experience because it gets you to the Grand Canyon so quickly. We had like a I went with it was. I went on my own with this because at the time I didn't realize I'd be back at Vegas like six more times later and I thought, well, if I'm down here, I want to see the Grand Canyon. Did a quick helicopter ride, met this like American family. All I remember is the daughter had those really long fingernails you know like, and I think the dad. They were like from Georgia or something. I think the dad wanted me to get together with the daughter Like I'm thinking I'm talking like marriage. He was like so what's?

Paul Constable:

yeah, it was, it was it was.

Christel Bartelse:

Sorry if I you're going to say the dad also had the finger.

Paul Constable:

Which would have been amazing. But they did a really nice thing they bought, like there was a picture of us outside the helicopter at the end of the of the trip and you could buy a picture. And I was like I don't need a picture, but he's like we bought you one. And so it's me with a family that I've never seen since, and I think I have that picture somewhere because it's like I was on a helicopter.

Christel Bartelse:

Anyway, so sweet. It's like they wanted to adopt you.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, no, I could have my green card. I could be on the bachelor. I really sliding doors, Crystal.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah, oh, that sounds amazing. I'd love to do something like that.

Paul Constable:

Anyways, let's whip through this, okay.

Christel Bartelse:

So yeah. So faith is now feeling very vulnerable. She discloses her feelings to Gary. She says, of course she loves him so much. She doesn't say she loves him so much, but she basically says she's got strong feelings. She's worried of getting hurt. Gary also talks about his feelings for her. And then what's significant about whether he's going to give her a rose or not is this is going to seal the deal for hometowns.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And my favorite thing about these hometowns is, you know, when we watch the bachelor, the bachelor, it's like you're going to meet my mom, you're going to meet my dad, and now it's like you're going to meet my grandkids.

Paul Constable:

Crazy. It's crazy, like I was. Like I made the same note later where I went oh yeah, they're going to meet kids and I didn't even think of grandkids until they show the preview for next week?

Christel Bartelse:

No, that's all. I was thinking Grand like what a grandkids versus meeting the parents?

Paul Constable:

I think there is a grand kid. That's kind of like the tennis player's weird uncle who's like really aggressive.

Christel Bartelse:

Yes.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, but he's weird about it. He's like, you know, faith. He's like seven years old and he's like faith has a bit of a drinking problem, just you know, and it's like what it's seven.

Christel Bartelse:

I'd love to see that. Okay, I got to say too, we've seen it before what is Gary's tattoo? It's oh, it's soap. I'm holding my left arm. It's on his right arm. It's bad. I don't know what it is. It's bad.

Paul Constable:

Well, remember I talked before about tattoos and how you can get that like that sleeve kind of look. But then there's one guy Was he on the bachelor? Like sometimes it just looks like they threw darts at the body and they were like put one there, put one there, put one there. It just doesn't work.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah.

Paul Constable:

I've never understood it. Now Maybe you can. But you know, sometimes people get one on their calf and I'm like don't you want to? Don't you want to see it? Like don't you want to see it.

Christel Bartelse:

You could argue that for so many spots back the shoulder low back. Can't really see your own neck.

Paul Constable:

The neck tattoo is basically I'm never going to be a CEO.

Christel Bartelse:

I'm going to. I'm. I could get in trouble for saying this, but to like tattoos, do what you want. I do draw the line at the neck tattoo.

Paul Constable:

That's fair, although it worked for a lot of basketball players.

Christel Bartelse:

And it works for Beckham. I'm still going to give it to Beckham.

Paul Constable:

You love Beckham. You used to have many documentary sits like twice.

Christel Bartelse:

I do love him very much.

Paul Constable:

We wanted to do a prank on a guy we used to work with because he was a really sweet guy and we worked on a prank show and we wanted to try and set it up that we would encourage him to like, intimidate some of the Raptors players. And then we get the guy with the neck tattoo to turn around and go you better shut the f up and just like watching poop himself. And we were like, how do we make this happen? Because he's the sweetest, nicest guy, but he would also think it would be funny to be like hey, wraps, you suck Anyway. So that's my neck. Not really a story, but I have to the the place in Malibu. What did not mount? Is it Los Angeles, the pier? I've been to the pier. Have you been to the pier where?

Christel Bartelse:

they go Santa Monica Pier. Yes, I've been there. Yeah, was that the group date? Yeah, we just got a backtrack because I didn't. I didn't close off that faith does get the hometown Rose.

Paul Constable:

Yes.

Christel Bartelse:

She's one of our first contenders going to hometowns.

Paul Constable:

Didn't get that rose after a helicopter and a crew.

Christel Bartelse:

And then I just I just want to touch on. She does come back. Some of the women do ask her how her date was, and then she starts telling it, but then they get a little bit upset that she tells it in too much detail, Can?

Paul Constable:

you imagine if Kathy was there with her.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh yeah. Kathy would have been able to stand this information. But yeah, we moved to the group date Santa Monica Pier. I've been there and what's funny about this is, again, nothing against these wonderful women or these seniors, but it's like I was just so impressed because I can't go on a roller coaster and all these seven year olds were going.

Paul Constable:

I wonder where this is going, because I was like nothing against, usually me no.

Christel Bartelse:

I don't even know. I'm not really even offending them, I was just actually anything. I was impressed but I was questioning. I was that one moment thinking about their heart rate.

Paul Constable:

That's fair. No, I just I thought like whenever you hear you know no offense, but you seem 70 pounds fatter, you're like that's very offensive.

Christel Bartelse:

You know, I just didn't you have the same thought for a moment. Like they were going on some crazy rides.

Paul Constable:

I did, but I was kind of really bored with this group date. They really you could kind of I guess that you said this before the problem, in a weird way, with the 60 minute format is they already don't focus on who's going home, they're going home, they're going home. So we'll just do 30 seconds here, 30 seconds there, although I thought that Ellen was going to stick around. That was I even said at one point. Why don't we just say it's faith, leslie, ellen and like just kick these ladies off and so I can watch Golden or Bachelor in Fairytale.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay. Well, now you've just ruined and you've just disclosed who's going home, but that's okay, we're going to get there and see. Yes, I've seen it. I know, In case anyone was sitting on the edge of their seat waiting for us to say who goes home.

Christel Bartelse:

Well well, okay, but I, yeah, we're going to. I want to talk about Ellen a little bit more. I just also want to say, on this group date though you feel the claws come out a little bit though, because all of these women are all telling Gary how strong they feel.

Paul Constable:

Yes, yeah, and I think they also realized because of hometowns coming up. I guess it's really the one of the first times we've really seen pressure in the Golden Bachelor and we've also seen it's different, you know, when these women say that they're in love with him, it just comes from a really different place than when, like the 24 year olds, normally say it. It comes from, I think, a real genuine place where sometimes the youthfulness of the other contestants I feel like they're just so naive or caught up in the beauty of the moment that they'll just say anything and then, like you know, we always go online three weeks later and they're like they're broken up.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah, 100% yeah. Ellen goes on the rollercoaster with Gary. And then that yeah, I just want to, because you mentioned Ellen, that was the moment where I thought for sure she was sticking around.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, yeah, it seemed like they had a very strong connection. I thought I actually thought she was going to go to the end.

Christel Bartelse:

I did too. I did too. I'm with you on that. But then Gary has to sort of give one rose on this group date. But when it comes to it he just can't. He feels like he needs a little bit more time. So he, I think he waits one more day.

Paul Constable:

So I would have. Oh no, he has a little bit more. I think it was just the next day. Did you think there were? I thought he was going to give up four roses at the end. That's. The thing that really surprised me was when they stopped at three. I was like what?

Christel Bartelse:

But it was. I was already confused. So how many women were left? Five right.

Paul Constable:

I thought there was six. Oh I know I already he went home.

Christel Bartelse:

Well, ellen went home, we can just talk about it.

Paul Constable:

Sharon and Sue.

Christel Bartelse:

Who's Sharon?

Paul Constable:

I don't know who was the black.

Christel Bartelse:

No.

Paul Constable:

Susan.

Christel Bartelse:

Susan was Kardashian, kris Jenner. Susan went home and Ellen went home, and then we have remaining.

Paul Constable:

The black lady went home, who had their problems?

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, is that Sandra, sandra?

Paul Constable:

I think so I can't remember.

Christel Bartelse:

I apologize.

Paul Constable:

In that episode in my defense she like yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, so, yeah. So now we are left with Leslie, teresa and Faith and we have whipped through this episode. We did it. Just want to ask you 100% who is your front runner.

Paul Constable:

It's back to Faith.

Christel Bartelse:

Is it?

Paul Constable:

I have faith in Faith. I was really surprised that he went for Teresa over Ellen. That's the only thing that really super surprised me. I thought Teresa was going home because she's kind of flaky and when they had their conversation it almost felt like he was a little bit put off by the flakiness from his body language. But I guess that's why I'm not a body language expert.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, I just want to say I turned over the page in my notebook and it was. I thought I was done the notes for that, but Sandra, it was Sandra that went home and I just want to say my big note is I can't believe she missed her daughter's wedding for this.

Paul Constable:

Right, that's totally right.

Christel Bartelse:

And then she went home. She doesn't even make it. I don't even know if I could still talk to my mom that she missed my wedding and I didn't even come home with the prize.

Paul Constable:

And even though I said last show, if it's your third or fourth, you still I missed. My uncle got married four times. I'm a nephew but I mean that's far enough away. But my brother's sorry, his brother's, my mom sister. We've been to four of his weddings but no one would be like we can skip this one. Yeah, it's too close, it's too close.

Christel Bartelse:

I just want to tell you really quick, Paul, I might surprise you I'm going to go, I'm going to, I'm going to commit to this. I believe Teresa is the front runner.

Paul Constable:

Okay, okay. I thought you were going to go, like leave, like I thought you're going to be, like you're doing a lot.

Christel Bartelse:

No, no, I still think he's had something for well, I might leave you just wrap this up. I do think he's had something with Teresa from the beginning.

Paul Constable:

Are we ready, though, for overnight dates Like are we ready for this?

Christel Bartelse:

Well, this is what I'm thinking. Do you think that? Let's just end on this note that next case, next week, this week they're going to hometowns, then it's got to be, I would assume, down to two.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

He's going to go in the fantasy suite with both women and then he's going to choose.

Paul Constable:

Did he all go at the same time. Like it's a, it's a. It's like a Madinajah toa.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, that would be something yeah.

Paul Constable:

They all still seem very supportive of each other.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, very much.

Paul Constable:

And then I don't think any of them have been with other women so they could eat ice cream after that night when they played. Have you never, have I ever, or whatever that game is called Got it Okay.

Christel Bartelse:

We did it High five.

Paul Constable:

High five.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, we've got to move over to again one of the best episodes. I have to tell you. I watched this late at night. I was just really needed to chill out. This was everything. I kept watching the timer because I pvr'd it. I did not want it to end. There was one time where I was like, if this could be four hours of long, like four hours long, I'm here for it.

Paul Constable:

It was so good and I apologize because I was on bachelor in paradise, episode four notes, and I was like poop gate oh, my dear God. No, I'm ready, I'm with you, I'm with you, I'm with you. This episode was the reason why bachelor in paradise may be the greatest show ever.

Christel Bartelse:

I'm with you. I'm with you. All right, we start. We've got girls, have the roses and we learned. Five guys have to go home, and Sean and Aaron. I can't keep up with the Aaron S, aaron B.

Paul Constable:

Aaron S was. Aaron B is black Aaron, aaron S is white Aaron, I believe.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, aaron, aaron is with Aaron. S was with Sam. Yeah, but and then Aaron B is with lovely Elvira. No.

Paul Constable:

Elvira no, I got to have her name.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, well, we'll come back to her. Anyway, she's, yeah, eliza, Eliza.

Paul Constable:

Sorry. Yeah let's just move on.

Christel Bartelse:

Aaron, Aaron S and Sean. They fear they're going to go home because at this point there's no women that are interested in them and they are not really interested in any women, and I just want to say that.

Paul Constable:

Sean lost his job to come on this show.

Christel Bartelse:

I was just going to say, yeah, he quit his job to be there, like as if it was his you know future career, like, come on, what was his job?

Paul Constable:

I don't know. That's what I want to know. I want to know was it like a serious? Was he a manager of, like a finance company? I feel like he's like he works at a in the mall or something.

Christel Bartelse:

No, but he's 26.

Paul Constable:

I know you have to be 26.

Christel Bartelse:

He's like quit my job to be here. It's like you clearly chose to be here. Who wouldn't? Let's just be honest. I think a lot of 26 year olds and they got this opportunity to go beyond a TV show watched by I don't know. I want to say millions, probably not millions, thousands of you know it's millions, it's probably millions, okay, bump up your social media, all the things. Of course he's going to quit his job.

Paul Constable:

Speaking of social media, I looked at Sam. No, not Sam, no, there was another Sam, the poop gate Sam. I looked at Instagram account because I was just kind of curious to see if she was going to post about the poop and she did a little bit, but she's not really posting and I'm like this would be your and I think it's like kind of her business. I'm like wouldn't this be the time to up your social media game? You're on a national television show.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

I would just want to talk about her for a moment too. There hasn't been much follow up. We didn't really learn anything, and I thought for sure in this episode they would address it.

Paul Constable:

She was on Jimmy Kimmel, which I actually saw on on, like you know, youtube later and they interviewed her and even that was kind of boring, because he was trying to make a joke like any news and she'd go, yeah, and they just dragged it out and I was just like we just want to know if you pooped, because everyone in the audience wasn't a bachelor fan, it wasn't like I'm sure there were people like who is this?

Christel Bartelse:

And why is he asking her that?

Paul Constable:

A UFC person comes on you and I be like we don't know who this is. What's the joke? I'm giving them a tattoo.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, I'm going to have to go. Anyway, I'll watch that, I'll look that up, okay, so you're watching us now on Jetzt yo, then. Okay, then we meet, oh God. So then we, of course, we meet another woman, a new woman named Sam, and nobody knows who she is, and she comes from Bachelor in Paradise, canada, and the most annoying part was when she starts talking French to Jesse and he's talking like what a cliche, come on.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, I didn't. You know what. It's sad I didn't even know Jesse was Canadian. I'm sure I did know that at some point. I didn't either, you didn't know. Oh wow, no, I don't feel so bad.

Christel Bartelse:

No, I didn't know that. I missed that. I feel once about.

Paul Constable:

Eliza's name mistake, then Jesse, not Okay, but he's from like Ottawa and Toronto or something like that I didn't know that either.

Christel Bartelse:

I don't feel they put a lot of emphasis on that during the Bachelor or Bachelorette. They didn't really talk about that.

Paul Constable:

He came to? Did he come to Niagara Falls? I think he did Remember when the no that wasn't that, caitlyn, and it was. It was, yeah, kim came to me though Canadian Sam.

Christel Bartelse:

No, okay, go for it. You can talk about Sam. No, I'm not a fan, but go on.

Paul Constable:

Well, I think that they brought her in just because she plays. They needed a villainess and she's more than willing to play that. I think she's actually really smart. I think she's upping her, her own social media presence. I don't think she cares if she falls in love or not. To be honest, I did love that. She kind of said that Sean is too young for her, which was kind of amazing, and even put him down and he's even kind of like you're the Canadian, Sam is not going to go out with me. Ken looking boy. It was kind of great, I didn't mind it. Then again, that's all I can say.

Christel Bartelse:

No, I don't know. In fairness, I should say she's totally playing a character. I do feel she's upping this. I do think the producers have a say in this but she just does rub me the wrong way. She's way too intense. I just didn't like her. She's always drunk, she's always doing shots, and then she was always picking lime out of her teeth.

Paul Constable:

You know what? So those? Sometimes we hate the people that remind us the most of ourselves. I'm totally kidding, that's nothing.

Christel Bartelse:

Wow.

Paul Constable:

That's too far. That was too far.

Christel Bartelse:

No, I had. I did stop doing shots a long time ago.

Paul Constable:

But every now and then I see you pick that lime out of your teeth.

Christel Bartelse:

No, that's my pet peeve in life is anyone who picks their teeth. So you could. I can assure you that also on national television. I would not be picking my teeth.

Paul Constable:

But, Sam, if you're listening, we're in Toronto. Please come on our show. All shots in the lime.

Christel Bartelse:

Every time they write down are they show the sign of the resort. I always think, oh my God, and I wrote it down because I do have a fantasy to go and stay there sometime, just so I could say I stayed where a bachelor in paradise and it was called Vdonta and I just keep meaning to look that up.

Paul Constable:

My friend Rick from public school. That's the guy I tell you, but he's a sailing instructor down in Mexico. He's like apparently at 10 minute, maybe even walk, from that resort.

Christel Bartelse:

Why don't you get like, the insight of like? Does he have information? Has he watched it being filmed? What is there?

Paul Constable:

He's weird. That's why. But if he's listening, please come on. Okay, he's not that great guy. He's a great guy we're going to the Rose, sorry. No sorry, keep going, keep going.

Christel Bartelse:

No, we're going to the. Rose ceremony and then again women have roses. So we have Kylie. We know the, we know the sort of the set couples for now.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

We have Kylie and Avan, rachel and Brayden, eliza, aaron B. We have Kat and Tanner, jesse, jess sorry Jess and Blake. Olivia and John Henry because she lets Peter go, which was kind of a surprise.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Then Mercedes has to choose poor Will. She lets him go, she goes for Tyler. And then we have new Sam who, in a turn of events, picks Peter.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, yeah, weird Peter.

Christel Bartelse:

Weird Peter. And then we have Aaron Sean Will and I can't remember his name, but I think it's John Michael. They have to go on.

Paul Constable:

Yeah. Yeah, I think it was John asked or something like that, but it doesn't matter, he's gone he didn't like.

Christel Bartelse:

And then Sam reveals she's here to take over the beach.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And then we start a new game which is called Kat, saying it's my birthday.

Paul Constable:

Right, I did want to point out before we get into Kat. I paused it on Tanner because he was reading a book at one point that blew my mind and that book is the art of war. So I was like that's incredible. He was reading that at the beach? Yeah, because they were just showing. They were trying to show the calm before the storm. Everyone's fine, everyone's happy, everyone's getting along. And for Tanner his like downtime was reading the art of war. I was like you kind of went up a little bit in my hand.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, good eye, I also, I wanted to.

Paul Constable:

In my book. I'm trying to do a book joke like he's reading the art of war, but my book would be like the art of fiber or something like that.

Christel Bartelse:

I just needed to comment on Braden. I know it's hot there, but boy does that guy sweat, Sweating.

Paul Constable:

I was sweating that much in an MC gig at the start of October because we had that crazy warm October like literally about a month ago, and it was hot and I was like the only thing I really haven't come in Braden is the amount that we can sweat.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh yeah, yeah it was. It was pretty bad, but but Rachel was also sweating.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, it was hot Like it was. I think it's just insanely hot there.

Christel Bartelse:

And it's, it's what.

Paul Constable:

It's nighttime. You know, like, like here, even when it gets super hot days, they usually buy at nine o'clock, but there sometimes you can have like 32, 32.

Christel Bartelse:

We did have a few of those this summer, though we had a few hours. Yeah, okay, we've got to get so much more still. That happened. So, kat, it's her birthday, she turns 27. And then this is the theme, and I just got to share this about myself because I did make me laugh. If you know me well, I am a big birthday person, right, I just, I love birthdays. I love other people's birthdays. I do love when it's a birthday, it's for me. It's more about it.

Christel Bartelse:

It's not a birthday, like you'll have birthday week or something you know like yeah, but I I can say that I do not go around saying it's my birthday Like I just enjoy the celebration. I do not do that but, this holy.

Paul Constable:

I mean, if this was a drinking game wow, or what could go wrong on your birthday?

Christel Bartelse:

Sorry.

Paul Constable:

What with drinking game? Oh, no, sorry.

Christel Bartelse:

Maybe I didn't make that clear that every time we have to take a drink, when Kat says it's my birthday Sorry, that wasn't clear, and then we'd pick lime out of her teeth. But she said it a hundred times in that episode.

Paul Constable:

No, kat, this um, this episode, in terms of just, we should take a therapy like degree and our thesis would just be on Kat.

Christel Bartelse:

So to show just you know the madness of a person's personality, she is so vile Like I cannot spare this woman and unfortunately, yes, she is a beautiful girl. She's got Cindy Crawford vibes going on Like I'll give her her looks or she's incredible, but her personality is so.

Paul Constable:

No, it's just such a turn off, it's just like you can't even, you can't, you can't do it.

Christel Bartelse:

No, no and okay. So we're going to come back to her for a moment, but we've got to jump to Brayden and Rachel and I just got to say do you remember a couple of Bachelor in Paradise's? Maybe two seasons ago there was. There was that taco date you had to make a house. I think you had to make a taco on person's body and it was crazy.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

It was just as bad making human pinatas. They were basically had to cover each other in paint and I want to say I loved their playfulness together. I thought that they were really fun together. It was really sweet. They're cute. This would just not be a date for me.

Paul Constable:

No, I, I hate being dirty and when other people get dirty, especially when they got the paint in their teeth.

Christel Bartelse:

That was the worst.

Paul Constable:

It makes me uncomfortable, and no, I I don't, but I do agree that they seem to they were the perfect people to do a date like this, you know.

Christel Bartelse:

And I have to in a way. I don't know, she's never going to know I do this, but I have to applaud Rachel in a way, because I don't like her. She does really bother me. I'm not I'm not a big Rachel fan, but at the same time I love seeing her sense of humor and her, her joy and her silliness come out, because she was so uptight when she was on the Bachelorette.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And just seeing the side of her. And again I have to give credit to Brayden. I think he is doing this for her, but she was so fun and ridiculous and she kind of grew on me on that date.

Paul Constable:

She was annoying again, but she did, and they're both kind of annoying. But even Brayden, I'm sad to say, maybe not sad, but I'm sort of, I think, just used to his annoyance, where it doesn't bother me anymore, and maybe they sort of balance each other out because they they are kind of falling in love with each other or at least are attracted to each other, because he would just try so hard when he thought he was winning on the last season of Bachelorette, when he was contested, but now it's not so much about that. He's also been kind of knocked down because of Kat, which is, I mean, that's why it's so amazing, because as we're watching this cat meltdown that's about to come, I was like, oh yeah, and then Brayden gets to come back into this and he's just going to be like, oh, the woman that treated me like crap is having a horrible birthday. That's too bad. And he was pretty much exactly like that and I was. I wanted to high five him.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, totally, totally. I still have to say I'm team Brayden.

Paul Constable:

I'm kind of team Brayden too. I'm team. I'm team Raiden.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh yes, that's right. We came up, that's right. I just have to say, yeah, it was hard to take them serious towards the end when they were having this real heart to heart conversation, when they were still covered in paint. And I would think that a date like that, there would be the moment where they'd say, okay, now go and shower and get cleaned up, and then you're going for dinner, and it was just weird that they came back to the beach.

Paul Constable:

She came back and paint, and also there was one point where they put the famous black dot over Rachel's behind, but then, like literally two seconds later it was pretty much the same angle and I was like I don't know how much more we can actually see Like what? I don't think. I think they just did it to make it. What's the opposite of titillating, acylating?

Christel Bartelse:

But I was half a second blackout and then they just started showing it.

Paul Constable:

I mean, we can guess what it was. But if not, send me a direct message to Instagram, I'll explain it to you.

Christel Bartelse:

I also just have to talk about this one moment where I was cringing with Brayden when he was doing his Borat impression. Oh, yeah, oh it was just, it was so wrong.

Paul Constable:

When and I guess I was excluded but when beautiful people do comedy it can be the most painful thing to watch. They should put a black dot over that. They should just be like we can't show this.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, it was, it wasn't. It wasn't good. Okay, so the whole time, though, that we were in Brayd and Brayden's date, we still have Kat going on and on about it's her birthday and there's doing all this foreshadowing what she hopes for her birthday is to hang out at the pool with everyone. She called it. She had a name for it. She basically wanted everyone to sit, drink and have a good time. She called it start with a D. I can't think of what she wanted.

Paul Constable:

I missed that one.

Christel Bartelse:

But yeah, she had a name for it. Then she gets Jess to come up with a theme.

Paul Constable:

Right, yeah, yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And what happens also now is that Davia comes down. Davia is from Zach season and Davia is absolutely stunning.

Paul Constable:

Yes, yes, she's a very love. There's no one on the beach. That's like, that's true. That's true, unbelievable, how beautiful these people actually are.

Paul Constable:

That would be a great thing to add to the mix, just throwing in a very, very unattractive person that just comes down Like you said on oh, I loved Paradise Hotel and it was like people would get voted into the island from an audience, so like audience members watching the show would get voted on. And they voted in a guy who kind of looked like a poor man's Prince Charles, just like big, and he was not the right person. He got drunk, he had man boobs. They made fun of his man boobs, but he was just in this group of beautiful people. And a spoiler alert the sexy blonde that sided with him took all the money in the end, but anyways.

Christel Bartelse:

All right, but he had his moment. He had his 15 wins of fame. Okay, so Davia comes down. She is there. We learned for Tanner. That is her number one on our list.

Christel Bartelse:

She wants hopes to have a date with him. She obviously gets the date card. So all this foreshadowing about cat wanting to spend the day with Tanner. Davia comes down, she pulls Tanner right away. They have a conversation. Tanner forgets cat, who I mean. He's so enthralled with Davia he's ready to just go for it right there. He's ready to basically go to the boom boom room immediately.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, and then he comes back. Then Davia comes back and this is a pretty great move and a risky move. But she decides she doesn't even need to talk to any of the other guys. She is ready to make her move with Tanner.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, when you said list, I was like I don't think it was a list, it was like a name tag, like that was it. Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Because everyone else has a few people they want to chat with. But she went for it. And then when she says, tanner, will you go on this date without any hesitation, without even a pause, he goes. Yes, he just goes for it.

Paul Constable:

And I think that's when cat goes. Happy birthday to herself.

Christel Bartelse:

I know and this spins her into whatever I like that they called her Hurricane Cat, which is true.

Paul Constable:

Did you notice I mean I'm jumping a little ahead, but the rest of the gang there we're not really sympathetic to Kat at all that they were just basically like this is karma, this is how you behave, and it's on her birthday and they're all kind of mocking her and going like they don't care at all. That's not a good sign of, because normally there's even one or two going guys. It's a birthday, come on, guys. But none of that happened.

Christel Bartelse:

No, none of that happened, and I also just want to point out that we can't really control the timing of this. I mean, had Davia come down the day before or the day after, Kat still wouldn't have been happy. But it was her birthday, but you can't control this.

Paul Constable:

But the producers can. That's what makes it so.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, sure, of course it's still manipulated, but I'm just saying we also know we're on this whole filming schedule whatever, but she can't get that bad just because it's.

Paul Constable:

But it shows you the madness of the producers who are like who's the craziest one on the show? Kat who, oh, her birthday's coming up. How do we ruin this For ratings? Yeah, it's true, it's very true, it's very true, they just throw these people under the bus, but he also doesn't like even Braden. You and I are now on Team Braden. We hated him the last season and now we're like we actually kind of don't mind him, you know yeah, okay, and then I just want to.

Christel Bartelse:

I want to point out that Tanner does go and talk to Kat first.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And again she's well, she had been crying the whole time, but she basically brushes Tanner off in a sense.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And you know she didn't even give him a moment, just to say, hey, I understand, not great timing, Don't love that you did this, but also I'm open to you going on another date because in reality we forget the timeline and I think Tanner and Kat really have only been together for four days at this point.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, if that, yeah, no, it's still pretty quick. It's, but it is everything that now happens happens on her birthday the fact that they cut to Tanner and Davia having this dinner and they're just making out like crazy.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, that whole montage was hysterical.

Paul Constable:

So well done. That's what made this one of the greatest episodes ever.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, but just before that whole montage happened, they bring her a cake, like all of her other friends bring her a cake. Even the chefs from the resort or whatever come down and Kat is just bawling her eyes that she makes it so awkward.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, you know what, my birthday's coming up. It's too bad that I won't be anywhere near an ocean, because I would love for you to bring me a cake just so I could toss it into the ocean, which once again, you're like is it any wonder the world's going to shit? People just go, it's in the ocean. There was kind of one funny part. I think you may have seen this, but when they came back from commercials and the cake was floating, there was an ad for a TV show called Found and first I thought this was just Bachelor of Paradise doing a joke like Found the cake it's out here. But no, it was just like there's a show called Found coming up and it has nothing to do with what's being no.

Christel Bartelse:

okay, that is funny. I think I missed that.

Paul Constable:

Do you know how the poo clock? And all that stuff. I found Cat's cake in the ocean.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, I know.

Paul Constable:

I know.

Christel Bartelse:

She was so ungrateful for the cake. It just wasn't a good look. But yeah, that montage was so funny, and then even with Cat doing the pinata, where she just looked like an absolute lunatic. Also, do we not blindfold ourselves with pinatas? Isn't that what you're supposed to do?

Paul Constable:

We do, you and I.

Christel Bartelse:

Yes, okay, because she was just going at it and she just looked so idiotic.

Paul Constable:

And they did. I forgot about this, but they were doing her smashing the pinata while Tanner and Davia are having this sexy dance like dirty dancing moves and pulling each other back Dancing with. Oh my God, it was incredible.

Christel Bartelse:

It was so good. It was so good. And then also what happens. I mean, oh, while this is all happening, is the remainder of the gang on the beach? They start playing truth or dare.

Paul Constable:

Yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

And I just wanna say did you notice how brilliant the captions were under everyone, like for Cat, they kept putting it's her birthday and then they would put still her birthday. And then the next day it was like still thinks it's her birthday and I just wanna talk for Olivia. She had to suck someone's finger I think I don't remember whose finger she sucked and then they called her the finger sucking bandit.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, that's right. No, the caption person seven a good time. You know what that caption person had a better day than Cat did.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, no, but they were really. They were so stupid but they were great. Yeah, truth or dare gets a little bit uncomfortable just because a lot of people are either confessing or talking about John Henry and Olivia starts to get her back up a little bit.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, yeah, no, john Henry made out with Mercedes. Cat tried to do a body shot. She did do a body shot off John Henry. I was like he suddenly, you know bachelor number that Southern draw gets him every time.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, I love when they at one point say he sounds like McConaughey, like could you think of anyone else?

Paul Constable:

No, but he, yeah. No, I know, but there's, I mean he's not like Billy Bob Thornton's father.

Christel Bartelse:

No, I know, I know, okay, and then you know eventually. I know I'm jumping around a little bit, but Olivia, I do really like Olivia. I just want to say she's one of my favorites, I really like her. And then she ends up going in the hot tub with John Henry.

Paul Constable:

And his welding mask.

Christel Bartelse:

And his welding mask. Yes, but they kind of seal the deal. She's uncertain at that time if he's interested in other people, because it seems like a lot of the women are interested. But he kind of locks it down and appreciates her.

Paul Constable:

I think it was a pretty smooth move on his part because she I think even on both she said something like is Marsati's a better kisser than me? And he said maybe I need to reacquaint myself, and then-.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah, it was slick, it was slick. Then Davia and Tanner return.

Paul Constable:

Yes, yeah.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, and that again is not good for Kat. And then Kat, I think she wants to go talk to Davia.

Paul Constable:

Yeah, Davia pulls Kat aside, but Tanner hasn't talked to her yet.

Christel Bartelse:

No.

Paul Constable:

That's what I have. And then I think, if that's the tease, I think in that point too we may have to remember that Blake and Jess had a talk where Blake said are you still my number one? And then there's that long pause that no man ever wants after asking a serious question, Like you just want it to be a straight Of course that was the truth or dare. Was that a truth or dare? Yeah, yeah, but she's in Tyler and maybe Tanner.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, but what we kind of learn Jess she's so cute but she's so young and I think Blake is just way too mature and they don't have a huge age difference, but he just seems in a different place. And then when they go and have this talk, I think he's actually pretty grounded and he's just asking her and she just starts crying way too hard. But I think what we do learn and she kind of admits it is that she does want to explore other people.

Paul Constable:

I think I have a boy crush on Blake.

Christel Bartelse:

I like Blake a lot too. I've always liked him.

Paul Constable:

Because he does have a Canadian accent, but he also just kind of speaks truth. He just goes. I think I'm gonna give her a bit of space. I think she needs to work some stuff out, Like he makes mature decisions, but he also seems like a wild party boy that I honestly wouldn't fully trust.

Christel Bartelse:

I know, yeah, I'm curious to see what happens with him. I do still think Katie's coming back onto the beach his ex-fiancee, so I think we have to look out for that.

Paul Constable:

I have to tell you apologies to everyone my Fy Island obsession. But this week's Fy Island, for some reason the sound was like 15 seconds off. So I was watching it and you would see them talk and then hear them 15 seconds later or something, and it's the most maddening experience of all time. That's the end of that rant.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, that's really obnoxious. I just wanna say, yeah, I was looking at my notes. I was like, why does-.

Paul Constable:

It turned me into an F-boy. I was and I've got a nice guy, but now I'm an F-boy Just cause I was so enraged.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay.

Paul Constable:

Selfish and narcissistic, oh anyway.

Christel Bartelse:

You said we were gonna leave the topic, and then you keep coming back to it.

Paul Constable:

That's what an F-boy do. What would an F-boy do?

Christel Bartelse:

We're gonna wrap this up. We're gonna wrap this up. I was just saying that I was looking at my notes and I was like why did they end so abrupt? And then I realized because we have the teaser and I have to say that was so cruel to end it. On that Other thing I just gotta say about Kat my gosh can't stop playing with her hair. That was so obnoxious.

Paul Constable:

That was pretty crazy, yeah. And then someone does an impression of her.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, and then we just cut to what's gonna happen next week.

Paul Constable:

So next week? No spoiler here. Kat isn't happy, but she looks like she's gonna make the moves on John Henry.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, yeah, I kind of was so upset that it just ended and I'm not gonna get to see it that I think I forgot to take notes on what's to come.

Paul Constable:

Well, all I have, and then I have Jess, and Tyler might be getting it on.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, that's right. Yes, they do make out, they do make out.

Paul Constable:

And charity shows up, which seems to be bad for Aaron B.

Christel Bartelse:

Oh, okay, yes, Thank you for bringing this up. However, I just want to say from the editing we learn, because then Aaron goes. I can't believe charity is about to ruin my life, but didn't they have such a strong relationship?

Paul Constable:

It wasn't. It didn't seem to end on. If anything, there was closure Cause remember he flew all the way over there and himself another shot and she said no. But maybe she does have some kind of weird goods on him, like just. Maybe he's got like a strange tattoo and a part of his body we haven't seen yet.

Christel Bartelse:

Do you know what my take of this was? I think just no. I just think in the editing they make it look really bad. I got your call back, don't worry.

Paul Constable:

Give me the credit. No, I mean like I was like why would I know your take? But I should know.

Christel Bartelse:

Okay, got you. I thought in the editing they make it look really bad, but I actually think the opposite. I think because we don't recall them having a bad relationship, charity and Aaron I think she does tell Eliza you have such a great guy, like, go for it.

Paul Constable:

And then I think and that's why she's fine, Cause she's like oh my.

Christel Bartelse:

God, thank you for your is that?

Paul Constable:

maybe that's why-.

Christel Bartelse:

Well, I don't know, it just was so weird. It's just hard for me to remember believe A, that Aaron was a bad guy and that B charity would come all the way to warn someone about him. I just don't remember.

Paul Constable:

Was he the one who got it? No, he got in it with Braden, didn't he? And Braden?

Christel Bartelse:

get it. Yeah, he got in it with Braden.

Paul Constable:

Now they're on beats and they seem to be like fine.

Christel Bartelse:

Yeah, they're fine now yeah.

Paul Constable:

You know, yeah, yeah, no, I that last week's Bachelor in Paradise. I wish I'd almost watched Golden Bachelor first, because Golden Bachelor was like eating, you know, saltless peanuts after the smorgasbord. That was Bachelor in Paradise.

Christel Bartelse:

I did watch it first. I watched that first.

Paul Constable:

I'm gonna do that next time.

Christel Bartelse:

I've learned yeah, I think that's always the way to go, cause it's lovely and sweet, a bit slow, a bit boring, and then you go right into the wild ride.

Paul Constable:

Well, thank you.

Christel Bartelse:

For the wild ride.

Paul Constable:

Wild ride of Bachelor in Paradise. Thank you, Crystal, for taking this wild ride with me.

Christel Bartelse:

Thank you, Paul. We had a good time. See you next time.

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