The Most Dramatic Podcast Yet

Will There Be Golden Showers on Bachelor in Paradise? (We're Already Confused)

Christel Bartelse and Paul Constable Season 5 Episode 2

You've seen the heated romance, the tearful goodbyes, and the shocking rose ceremonies. But have you ever wondered how it would be if our beloved Bachelor contestants were, say, senior citizens? Buckle up as we guide you through the roller-coaster ride of the new seasons of Bachelor in Paradise, and the Golden Bachelor, where age is just a number and love knows no bounds. We'll spill the tea on the 73-years-young bachelor, Gary, and a few hilarious encounters with celebrities, that will keep you hooked.

Who would have thought that the Rose Ceremony could be just as poignant in broad daylight, or that we'd be rooting for a septuagenarian's love story? Not us, for sure. As we review episodes of the Golden Bachelor & Bachelor in Paradise, join us on the journey of April's strange calendar that only has the month of April , the heartwarming chemistry between Gary and Faith, and the strangely touching Rose Ceremony. We'll also take you on a tour of the reality dating show world, comparing the charm of Brayden's crystal earrings and the men's fascination with Kylee. 

And if all that wasn't enough, we promise you a good laugh with our own dating misadventures and security scares. We'll also be your crystal ball, predicting the drama that's about to unfold in Bachelor in Paradise, including the potential game-changer - the 'truth box'. And just when you think we're done, we leave you with a wild speculation about the fate of a monkey in the African Lion Safari theme park. Sit tight and tune in, as we promise you, it's going to be a riot.

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Christel:

I can't hear it.

Paul:

Oh, okay, well then, let's just start.

Christel:

All right, that's why it was all muffled and cutting in.

Paul:

Let's not do it, okay, let's. Let's just do it like we normally do. We're still recording.

Christel:

And action.

Paul:

The most dramatic podcast. The most dramatic podcast. The most dramatic podcast.

Christel:

The most dramatic podcast, the most dramatic podcast yet. Hello everyone, welcome to the most dramatic podcast yet. I am one of your hosts, crystal Bartelsi.

Paul:

And I am the other host with a haircut, Paul Constable.

Christel:

It's looking sharp, paul, good to see you Good to see you.

Paul:

I'm trying to get my golden bachelor look going. You know, the gray is definitely in. I'm ready. I'm ready to rock and roll Ladies.

Christel:

You still have about 20 years to go, but I'm glad that you're prepping for this. For those of you listening, we are going to talk a little bit golden bachelor and also jump right into bachelor and paradise, and I have just got to say what a season we have ahead of us. I am so excited.

Paul:

Would you say this could be the most dramatic season yet?

Christel:

It looks very good. It looks very, very good, and I have some predictions as well.

Paul:

Okay.

Christel:

We're going to go back to Gary for a moment because golden bachelor, I have to say what a show, what a show.

Paul:

Yeah, the golden bachelor. I wrote in my note at one point. It felt like a Saturday night live sketch that has gone on too long, because it's kind of like you'd see it as one of those commercials that they started coming up next season the golden bachelor and they would have real senior citizens. And then you'd be laughing because they would be, they'd be recreating everything from the bachelor show. But I'm like, no, this is real, this is this is a real thing. It's not a sketch.

Christel:

It did feel very much like a parody, absolutely, because I felt they were trying too hard also to remind us that these people are older. We, because we opened even with Gary with the hearing aids.

Paul:

Yes.

Christel:

We know he's older and I'm going to give the man credit. He looks very good for his age. He obviously was a very good looking man in his heyday and he's still a nice looking man for 73. Just it was creepy to have the hearing aids to remind us. And then also I was a little taken aback and uncomfortable with the photo of his deceased wife on the mantle.

Paul:

I was thinking that you and I could go get like Hudson Bay head shots though, as a homage to that photo.

Christel:

Well, how did it make you feel that she was?

Paul:

part of it was just more like that. I just remember those like glamour shots that people used to do. There was always that blue background, and that seems to be something that's gone out of fashion. No one really does that anymore, but that's all I thought. I didn't think anything of it. I did want to. On the previous talking of this, I thought perhaps she died of cancer, but she hadn't even. Not that anything's worse or better, but she had that bacterial infection that she was in the hospital just over a week and then never came back. It's actually a really sad story.

Christel:

I think it's a very tragic story, and I do feel hopeful, though, however, that he is going to find love again. It seems like he's still got some life in him 100%.

Paul:

And then when we joke about me being on the golden batch or I'm like I don't really have a tragic story, I still know. You know what I mean. Like I know most of my exes, you know it's just like they'd be like so what went wrong? And I'll be like I can't commit and they're all a little bit nuts. That's okay, that's okay, that's still a good story.

Christel:

I have to say that you know some of these women. Well, there's a mixed bag of women, you know, some of these women look fantastic, and I know. I just want to say because, as I'm I'm aware, I'm an aging woman in society too, so I do think it's doing a great thing. A lot of these women, you know, talked about this on the show that just because they are in their sixties or whatever, it doesn't mean that they don't have so much more life to live, and a lot of them are. We have wonderful energy and are so fit and fabulous. I'll give you an example I really liked oh, I think it's Leslie, she's the one that did it, Prince, so of course I'm going to have, is it?

Paul:

Leslie. She said that yeah, that Prince wrote. Yeah, leslie said that Prince wrote the song Sexy Dancer about her. I'm not sure how I feel about if that's true or not, but maybe Well, I think it's amazing, though.

Christel:

What a story and I won't get into this now, but if you've ever heard my story I have of the night that I met Prince in New York, funny because I asked my husband David, I was like, would you have still dated me if I had slept with Prince? And he was like it was like probably not. I was like, really, he's like yeah, he was like we just I can't talk that.

Paul:

And I thought but maybe he could. Maybe the thing about Prince is it would be such a let down because you think he's going to be the ultimate. That's true, and maybe he's a selfish, selfish lover. The only kind of story I have not Prince related but related to someone and a song is I was at do you remember the guitarist in Toronto? He was blind but he had his own bar. Oh, I should know his name the Blues guitarist. He unfortunately passed away about 10, 15 years ago. He's in Roadhouse with Patrick Swayze. He plays himself.

Christel:

Oh, I feel so mortified that I don't know who this is. I don't know.

Paul:

Okay, we're going to. We're going to, I'm going to Google this, We'll edit it.

Christel:

The podcast is going to be you trying to figure out who this man is, and then the story might be a let down.

Paul:

No, the story is not. It's not like Sex with Prince. This story is even better than and now I can't even Google it. I'm excited he's healing.

Christel:

Yes, of course, of course. I okay, I know that name.

Paul:

I just I couldn't, I didn't put you together, yes, we used to love to go there doing karaoke nights and sometimes he would even come by and jam Like he would play guitar with the or sing along. But one of the waitresses there, this guy one night, says you see that waitress over there and I was like, yeah, it goes, you know the song legs.

Paul:

And I was like, yeah, he goes, that song's about her man. And I was like, oh, and I looked and she did have nice legs, but I don't know if ZZ Top specifically wrote that about her, but maybe, maybe.

Christel:

Yeah, I wish this was a little bit more related to you. But anyway, good story, Good story.

Paul:

Maybe that was like Sex with Prince Moving on. Do you know any women that will date me after telling that story? They might not now. That's how bad it was.

Christel:

I don't think that's going to do anything for you if I'm being honest, maybe I'll let it. Maybe just stop telling that story. I love your stories normally, but this wasn't that exciting. I'm just going to say, well, I'm a bit feisty today. All right, I want to talk about. Gary does mention at one point his celebrity crush is Penelope Cruz which. I thought was so interesting. It just seemed like not the woman I would expect for it.

Paul:

Yeah, I guess I guess that's. I didn't really I didn't have either. I didn't reaction to it either.

Christel:

Penelope Cruz and then it just made me laugh, because he doesn't really have any Spanish women as contenders on the show.

Paul:

No, that's true. I guess all mine would look like Lonnie Anderson from 1982. That would be my problem.

Christel:

But we also need to talk about. What I found interesting was the woman oh, I'm not finding her name, but it was Matt who was the farmer bachelor. We talked about this.

Paul:

And April I think was the no April's the crazy chicken lady, and by crazy I mean loopy, yeah, ok.

Christel:

Yes.

Paul:

I know who you mean. She's the mum that you thought looked like Celine Dion.

Christel:

Yes, yes, but then I'm sorry, spoiler alert, I'm jumping way ahead, but it was quite shocking. She did get sent home just because she's sort of you know, anyone associated with bachelor and her son obviously being the bachelor. You think they're sort of part of this bachelor royalty, but she was not safe at all and she got sent home.

Paul:

You know what? That was the biggest surprise of the episode, I guess.

Christel:

Yeah, yeah. So oh, I have a question for you. This is what I want to add, and then we can even move to bachelor in paradise, because not too much happened yet in the Golden Bachelor. Did you catch the very end of the Rose ceremony? Well, what we noticed about that was it was broad daylight.

Paul:

Yeah.

Christel:

It was. You know, it was very strange. Obviously, I guess for the Golden Bachelor they're not going to do it at 3 o'clock in the morning like they normally do on the regular bachelor season. But then I heard, jess, you say ladies, this is the final Rose this morning.

Paul:

Yeah, yeah.

Christel:

You hear that this morning I was so confused. What time were they doing this?

Paul:

They're seniors and he doesn't want to confuse them any further. Like is it still night? Has the sun come closer to the earth? Why is it so bright? No, I guess they just because a lot of them did seem. Well, even Jimmy Kimmel's aunt right falls asleep. That was powerful.

Christel:

Yes, she's not a contestant.

Paul:

Is she?

Christel:

Because Jimmy Kimmel's a big fan of the show.

Paul:

That's right. The part that I found kind of strange about this show is how more touching I thought it was, especially between him and Faith, the woman who played the guitar and got the first impression rose. I felt that there was. When Gary actually says to her like I like the way you're looking at me right now, it feels so less. Zach Schauhcrossy, you know what I mean. These are people that have lived. They are taking a chance. They are kind of feeling like we kind of laugh about it, but this is their last chance at finding love. Or they've got years and years of experience of being single and alone and they're thinking, ok, this could be it. When you see young bachelors and bachelorettes you're like they'll just go to a bar in three weeks, they'll be fine. There isn't that feeling of oh, how do you find people? And I was strangely touched by that, especially even Faith's song. When she brought out the guitar I was like oh, and I was like that was actually. I thought you're giving me a face, like maybe.

Christel:

No, no, no, I was saying I agree with you and no, it wasn't cheesy. Like we laugh in again the younger bachelorette bachelorette. If someone cracks up the guitar and sings some song that they wrote for someone, it's often quite cheesy. I agree with you fully. This was very touching and it's got a more mature feel to it.

Paul:

And the tears in the preview for the rest of the season feel more intense than any tears of I don't know. There's something Like I said, the biggest surprise for me was the emotional impact of the show. I was actually. The only other show that strangely gets me emotional is Masterchef, because sometimes when they get voted off, I'm like that was their dream and now they're can't do it and they're sad and I get sad. But when usually bachelorette even I can't think of any more I'm just like, oh, I'm not really sad for them, I'm just like that looks terrible, but they'll probably be fine.

Christel:

I'm with you on that. I'm with you, Faith, by the way. I mean, she rides a motorcycle and she plays a guitar. She is definitely a front runner.

Paul:

I think there was even a moment where Jesse Palmer said, or I think he said, gary said I think I might even have found the woman, and they cut right to her, the woman that I will marry. And they cut to her. And I was like, is that producer subconscious? Or maybe it was first impression rose, I don't know. But should we move on to?

Christel:

Yeah, I just have one question for you, just, I mean, my parents are approaching 50 year anniversary of being married. I think your parents are split up.

Paul:

Yes, they're approaching almost 50 years of no. They've split up since 89, but it's been.

Christel:

My question for you is how would you feel if your mom or dad went as a contestant on the Golden Bachelor?

Paul:

Oh, that's such a loaded question. My dad has been married since February of 2000 to my stepmom, linda, so that and my mom has been in a relationship with a man named Wayne for a while, like a long while, and my mom's a little bit more open about that relationship and that's as far as I'll go. And some of those conversations do make me uncomfortable. But my other rule say I'm a woman and no one's going to tell me not to say what I want to say anymore and I'm like your son should have that. Anyways, that's what I talk to my therapist about.

Christel:

OK all right, so they're not going to they're not going to be applying for the next round in any way.

Paul:

No, but I did tell you, I think, earlier, this show. My mom was actually interested in the Golden Bachelor and said she wanted to watch it. I also like the 60 minute time frame of this show. Can you imagine a two hour Golden Bachelor?

Christel:

No, but we'd be 65. It's just for yeah, but it reminds us that a lot of the times when the Bachelor runs for three hours, we don't know we don't need that much time. No just cut it out right. Ok, we got it. We're going to get right to our original what we started this podcast for in the first place. One of Bachelor in Paradise, episode One. My God, it was fantastic. Like I'm so excited to see this back. Yeah that opening flash dance theme.

Paul:

Mm, hmm, which I thought you know really spoke to the. The people that watch the show Like there's not 22 year old kids out there going, yeah, flash dance, it's gotta be people having a midlife crisis are watching this show right now.

Christel:

Totally. What made me laugh is that I actually used that song. What A Feeling in a story today that I've posted on my own personal Instagram. So what a flashback when it came on. When I started watching getting caught up on this, I was like this is amazing. We're so insane.

Paul:

Now you get it. When there was a lot of top gun references a few seasons back and I was very excited.

Christel:

But I can give you lots of flash dance references. So we go to Jesse opening up. He wasn't too sweaty, which I noticed. That was just my first notice, because we know how hot it is there, and he kind of sets us up for what the season is gonna be, and we do learn that there will be one couple who gets married. I have a prediction too. Okay, I have such a okay, you go, you go.

Paul:

Okay, my prediction is it's not a couple that's gonna be on this show. They're gonna bring back a previous couple and they're gonna get married. Really, Like it could be grocery Joe and the other lady.

Christel:

You know what I mean. They're already married. They're already married.

Paul:

That's what I'm trying to well, maybe they'll get married again. Oh, so like Kenny and Mara, yeah, that's what I think it is.

Christel:

That's good. That's good. Okay, my prediction is Blake.

Paul:

Okay, yes, Canadian boy Blake.

Christel:

There was something, and when I was watching it and just seeing what's on the road ahead, that Blake might reconnect with Katie, Okay, right. Cause they were engaged before they broke off the engagement. They haven't spoken in two years and they might actually now realize they all made a huge mistake and get married.

Paul:

That is a huge mistake, you know what I wanna say to that. Do you know what I wanna say? Africa in safari. That's all I wanna say.

Christel:

There we go, all right. So we jumped to the first person who is arriving on the beach, and it's your favorite, paul. It's Rachel Rekia.

Paul:

I don't even know her last name, but that's me.

Christel:

I know her name Rekia Rekia.

Paul:

Okay.

Christel:

She does kinda bug me.

Paul:

Oh yeah, no, she bugs me completely, but I can't. There's something about her that's just so cute that I find very attractive, but once you get to peel the layers of her she just falls. I guess you know what the one thing I could say if I'm gonna throw a glass what stones a glass houses? She falls in love so quickly and I have that problem as well. Or wonderful personality, she just gets her heart really broken. I don't think I quite am at the same level that I used to be, perhaps when I was younger, and that's why maybe I give her a pass or find like a common soul. But she was in love with. Who's the guy with all the sweaters? Pre-zack Clayton.

Christel:

Yes, yeah, she was in love with Clayton. Then she did get engaged when she was the Bachelorette, when it was her and Gabby I can't remember his name because it did not work out and he was like a loser and we know that she's gonna fall in love again loss of tears. But I wanna say what really surprised me and this is just a question I have Now with social media. We know this, we've talked about this in the past. They all seem to DM each other on social media and all this. So my question is why are they all acting like they don't know who's gonna be there? They must talk about this, like if you're in Bachelor Nation, I'm in Bachelor Nation and we kind of chat. Of course I would say, hey, are you gonna be at the beach this summer? And it just surprises me that they all pretend to not know who's gonna be there.

Paul:

Well, I mean, I'll follow it up with another question. Why are they always surprised when they kiss someone and then that person kisses someone else and they're like I thought that we were gonna be in something. And you're like you go to this island to kiss more than one person usually and to explore relationships. Everyone's like I'm here to explore relationships until the other person that they're interested in goes and they're like it's so pot calling the kettle black. But that's why we love to go and that's why we watch, cause all they do is they're like little kids with trains and they set them up on a track and they're all gonna smash into each other 100%.

Christel:

I'm with you on that too, and we're gonna cut to that drama cause there was no need for this drama to happen already. But we know that we're gonna see. They kind of give us the insight that it's gonna be Brayden Kaylee Aaron, who is from charity season. I cannot stand that guy. He's like a big bodybuilder guy. Mercedes I don't really remember her, but she's from Zach season.

Paul:

Sean, and I even forgot about that. I forgot about that too, yeah.

Christel:

We have Sean, who's definitely the Kendall. Then we have Jess, who's really cute she was on Zach season Will, this guy, who's very popular from Michelle season I don't like him either and then Brooklyn and Kat. But, as I said, oh and then we're also gonna find. Blake arrives as well. Blake from Q.

Paul:

Freaking lion safari. If they want to show, we will happily. Gladly, you can go wild.

Christel:

We can go wild. So, as we said, rachel's the first person down. She seems really surprised that nobody else is there and she wants to meet Brayden. Of all the people that could be there, her top choice, the guy that she would like to meet after having her heart broken after going through all of this messiness in past bachelor shows, she would like to meet the biggest train wreck. She wants to meet Brayden.

Paul:

Yeah, well, and once again, common soul. I've been through so many things where I'm like I'll never go for that type of person again, and then, as soon as I see them, I'm like they seem interesting. Maybe this one, maybe this one will work. I get it. You sometimes can help what you're attracted to.

Christel:

That's true. That's true. I'm going to say right off the bat that I'm not a fan of Brayden's crystal earrings.

Paul:

A lot of the there was. That was a very divisive conversation on the beach later, the women talking about who's pro-earing and who's anti-earing. Strangely enough it was kind of 50-50.

Christel:

It was 50-50. And it was amazing that 50% of these women were into the earrings. I find that quite something. But anyway, the number one woman that everyone's kind of talking about for the guys is Kylie. Everyone, the men all, seem to really want to meet Kylie.

Paul:

Yes, yes, that's true, she is extremely popular and later on the part that I always like about these shows is she gets the first date card right, because they know that men are fighting over her. Who's she going to choose? And she goes. I never would have expected to get a date card and I'm like there's 12 of you. There's a really high chance that you could get a date card. You and I probably won't get a date card from the Baxlerette. That seems less surprising than if I was on the show and they were like Paul, here's a date card. What?

Christel:

Yeah, yeah, I was. She played that up way too much. Let's just say that, especially because they're always going to choose the woman who's the most popular, and she's got to know, like she can't be blind to the fact that she is a stunning woman.

Paul:

Do you think? Just to go back to Blake, our African lion safari boy, do you think he's bulked up a bit Like he seemed like he was in better shape than I remember him being in.

Christel:

Yeah, I thought he looked really good. To be honest, I always kind of like that guy. I think he seems like a really nice guy. I think he's kind of cute. So I get what the women see in him. He seems pretty genuine. He seems like he's got a big heart.

Paul:

I think he's got the big heart, but also that fun side to him which is almost even dangerous, where you're not sure if you can fully trust him, because I feel like he's the kind of guy that would tell you on a Friday night he's in love with you and look in your eyes and your heart would melt. And then on Saturday you found out he went dancing with like three cheerleaders or something and you're like, wait, that's true, you know, but he might have grown up a little bit. He's been like he was on like a boat, like was he I don't know his job off? He's like as a fisherman or something I don't know.

Paul:

He works with animals because that's why he's working at African.

Christel:

Lions Safari yes, there you go.

Paul:

Yeah, there you go.

Christel:

I want to ask you, with this list of all these people that arrive on the beach, just who do you like out of the women?

Paul:

I don't know. I mean, I thought I was going to like Brooklyn because I like Brooklyn's fire from her season. But when you realize she's probably been coached just to be that way, it gets old really fast. She's, ironically enough, with two women named Cat, she's the cateast of the group. She's pretty much got her claws out. I don't, in all honesty. I would probably still say Rachel, like I still somewhat cheer for her, even though I love that. She got excited later on that she and Sean were kind of together and she said he looks like Ken and I look like Barbie and I'm like that's not really a plus. Maybe it is for you. You like Barbie, I don't know.

Christel:

I like Barbie, but I don't want to look like Barbie, if that makes sense. Yeah, I want to look like Margot Robbie, but not Barbie.

Paul:

Yeah, yeah. I guess if I looked like, you know, superman, henry Cavill, and had a Lois Lane type, I'd be like this is fine, this is totally fine. But I'm like Seth Rogen, so I don't even know who he's married to, but I have to accept it. I didn't, I didn't. There isn't one that makes me go whoo. You know, they're all just kind of this person.

Christel:

Yeah, I mean I like out of the guys I just for now I kind of like Blake I'm interesting to see his journey and I kind of like Cat not the blonde Cat, the other one that seems to be hooking up with Braden, and but then I also lost a little bit of respect for her, because she does seem like an intelligent woman and I just, you know. Again, I don't know what she sees in the sky, but who am I?

Paul:

I think you can see when Braden later on was on that like love seat with, is it with them? Who is it? It is with Kat. He is very smooth and he's very like. He plays the game well. He knows how to get you in close and then push you away and, you know, test the boundaries until the boundaries are just completely gone and you're making out. But I also, once again, he's the same guy that the next night, if he's out with another woman and he's like what do you? What did you expect, bro? Look bro, we, there's no ring on it, bro, you know.

Christel:

I think I have such a thing against him because he's exactly the type of guy that I would have gone for I was 25. I think I admit that. I admit that.

Paul:

Yeah, I think I guess the part that's great is that and I feel a little bit bad because people will have to say I dated you know they dated me at some point, so I'm like more than willing to accept them throwing me under the bus for the same reasons. It's all tit for tat, I guess.

Christel:

So yeah. So we have Will, who's very popular. The women seem to like him. Olivia falls from first. By falls, I mean this is on their first interaction, but they have a man and they're kind of connecting, and then she does this weird thing and says she would like him to suck her toes.

Paul:

Yes, yeah, yeah, that's a bit. Even Will, who seems kind of open to a lot of things, found that very strange. He's like we haven't even kissed and she wants me to suck her toes.

Christel:

I think I want a bit. A bit too soon, a bit too soon. Yeah, I also just have a thing against feet, so I'm just not that this doesn't do anything for me, if I'm being honest, no, that's fair.

Paul:

I've never really been a foot person and especially when they zoom in on them and their toes are covered in sand, you look, you know, like have you ever dropped food in sand? And then you take a bite of it and you're like that was a huge one.

Christel:

Yeah, yeah, no one likes, yeah, no one likes to eat sand. Let's just be honest, no, no. Okay. So then, later, though, we also learned that Will really likes Kylie, but Will and Olivia have already kissed. Like Will does go to kiss Olivia, and they sort of some sparks fly. So then, when Kylie gets this date card because she's into Will, she wants to go out with Will, but she's already a little bit bitter that he's kissed Olivia which again. We have to remember this is all in the first three hours only.

Christel:

Yeah, that's true, like this is day one, and then she's contemplating whether she wants to go out with Blake, because she really likes Blake too, or thinks there's something in him. And the other one is she's contemplating taking Brayden as well.

Paul:

You know, when you put it that way it kind of really blows my mind, because right now we're recording this around like 5.30 in the afternoon. So imagine, from now until, let's even say, 10 o'clock tonight, you've met 12 new people. You've kissed one and then you find out another one wants to take you on a date. This is all within the next four. You'd be like what is happening? It does move fast.

Christel:

I know it's so intense and I think it's the way they edit it. We forget, because even now episode one, we watch it like this has happened over a week Right. And then we'll remind it, because there's a moment later on where I think Kylie and Will they're sort of cuddling up to each other and Will's like I already can see my future with her. That's after one day. Like it is, it is pretty bonkers.

Paul:

Well, even, yeah, olivia saw a future with Will after that first kiss and then gets really mad that he's going out with Kylie and I'm like saw a future, and this is where I go. I've made some mental leaps, usually with alcohol involved, where you're like this is the one. But even the next day you kind of wake up and go maybe I'll take slow, maybe I should go slower or maybe make better choices.

Christel:

I can honestly say I've never gone on a first date or kissed anyone and thought this is the one. I just have never. I just think that like that's just such a far leap. So that's why this is.

Paul:

I can say I had those feelings way back when I was like 1920 and everything was just new and you were just like, oh, this is it. I guess this is how life works. But then I have to remind myself some of these people are just this other side of 20. They're young.

Christel:

They are young. I think it always works out because there's a few contestants that are 30 and they already just seem more mature, but still a 24 year old. They're just there to have a good time. I don't think they're very serious about this.

Paul:

I got in the elevator the other day. I think it was at a hotel. Yeah, I was at the Skydome this past weekend watching Blue Jays, oh and.

Christel:

Oh yeah, you got to stay in that hotel I did. And as I was, going down.

Paul:

It was great. No, it was great. My brother got it for me as a gift because I turned 50 last year. This all relates to age, all of this. So as I'm going down in the elevator, there's this other. There's two guys and a girl, and the one guy's saying, yeah, she feels like she's gonna have trouble because she's just turned 40 and she's back in the dating scene and it's tough. And I said, wait till she's 50. And they all laughed and I just said, hey, man, no, and I looked at the woman and I went just gonna tell you there's baggage on both sides and no one wants to deal with it anymore, cause people are just like, oh, that person's, oh, oh, you just get tired faster.

Christel:

Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure, Cause you don't want to have to deal with any of it.

Paul:

Cause you've dealt with it already and usually there's people that are still have Xs with children, so you're dealing with that. So you're like I'm gonna add this new baggage to the baggage I already deal with.

Christel:

Yeah, but that's what's so crazy about these guys on the show being so young I mean, Kylie's already like I don't want drama. I don't want drama, but she's causing drama.

Paul:

Yeah, did you like Will taking a plunge into the pool, though that was kind of-.

Christel:

Oh, I was waiting for that. Okay, I'm so glad they did the instant replay. But even when they didn't, I went back about nine times Watch that like I don't even understand how that happened. I was trying to figure it out. So their table, like the platform, was like how did that even happen?

Paul:

I don't think they thought he was gonna be a gentleman and like and get her chair right. I think they just thought, cause there was nothing behind her chair. So he was actually being a gentleman and pulling the chair back for her, but that's when he went to go around the back of it. There's nothing there and he-.

Christel:

I know so was it? Just like it was only a platform for essentially the table and the two chairs?

Paul:

It's like that, the cars magic video, where he's walking on water at the start. I don't know if this references meaning anything to you at all at all. Right, no, okay, but they just had glass in the water, that's all.

Christel:

It was just so it was. What killed me about that is that he was so embarrassed. He didn't need to be embarrassed, cause they should be able to laugh about it, but what killed me about it is he sat there for the whole rest of the date and his soffing went closed, like surely they would have could have stopped it and got a change of clothes or something, and they never commented on it later, like that would have been so uncomfortable to be in that wet.

Paul:

Wouldn't it be crazy if they hadn't shown that? And then they just cut back and he's just wet and you're like, how did we'll get wet? Like they have to really show it or else-.

Christel:

Oh, it was hysterical and the way she was saying and trying to make him feel better your top looks like tie-dye.

Paul:

Yeah, that's, yeah, it-.

Christel:

Which does make it tie-dye is multicolored.

Paul:

There's a reason. When you ask me, are any of these women, you know, not my crushes? I'm just like not, not really.

Christel:

Not really.

Paul:

They're all very attractive, though I can't-.

Christel:

They're all very beautiful. What about that?

Paul:

woman, sam, who like was.

Christel:

But all I can tell you is she has abs of steel.

Paul:

That's the thing that makes me look at her and go why wasn't this woman more on the show? I just want to look at those abs, but then, when you get to know her, you're like I don't. I don't-.

Christel:

Well, I was going to say that she, first of all, she came out of nowhere because she had only been on who's season? Was she on Zach season?

Paul:

I think she was maybe and she never just-.

Christel:

No, she went home. Well, she went home night one, but it made it sound like they made it sound like she chose to go home when. I don't recall that, but now it's coming back to me. I think she was a bit feisty, I think, if I'm thinking back to it correctly, and she got a bit drunk and he just wasn't her type.

Paul:

Oh, maybe that is the one I thought of someone who just removed themselves from the situation because they weren't into it, but-.

Christel:

I'm not sure, but she didn't get any airtime at all, but she does have abs of steel. I just don't really know her personality and we didn't really see a lot of her in this episode.

Paul:

Now spoiler for later. Do you think those abs of steel come from the fact that she's holding on to all that poop and so she's I don't know, what is that about.

Paul:

I don't know, but I told you once that I dated a girl that said she never pooped. I told you that right, no, I'll tell you who it is later. But that was an odd Women for sushi and she got up to go and she said I'm going to the bathroom but I'm not pooping, because I don't poop. I was like everyone poops. There's a kid's book about it, but yeah, and that's just so bizarre.

Christel:

But but cutting ahead to Sam what we're talking about, she would have to be so bloated so the abs would disappear, I think.

Paul:

Fair enough. Maybe that was the first sign, like the one guy's.

Christel:

like I'm not a doctor, but your abs are gone, you know but do you think that's the real big medical Distress that happens on the beach or something else? I?

Paul:

In a weird way. I hope it is. I don't want to wish anything worse than a constipation on anyone on that beach.

Christel:

Yeah, I don't know what, I don't know what happens. But I'm just not sure about Sam. But again, in the preview she's there for a while. I don't think she's going home early on, but right now I'd be like which man is gonna give her the rose?

Paul:

Yeah, it's that one guy who I think was part.

Christel:

I think his name's Aaron or she's that's right, because he does say I want to be with Sam. He does, and they were.

Paul:

At first I thought it was Peter, because I couldn't remember him. Peter, like, was also a very short-lived Contestant who may be memorable. But, Aaron, I remember being kind of weird and intense. You know how they always have those guys that are just kind of like they're good-looking but they talk nerdy. You know what I mean. So it doesn't really go together, it's yeah, that Aaron guy bugs me.

Christel:

Yeah so yeah, where were? So yeah, so Kylie Kylie goes on the state we talked about. She goes on the date with Will. Olivia is pretty pissed off about this or irritated, and when Kylie will come back, will decides to go and talk to Olivia. And Really, what the problem was is he should have talked to her before he went on the state and just said I know we kissed, sorry about that, but out of respect I am gonna go on this other date, but he didn't. So Olivia does give him a lot of attitude.

Paul:

A lot might even be putting it lightly.

Christel:

But I didn't know why she was so mad. Because to your point as well, paul, I it's just day one. Like you kiss someone in the first ten minutes and then somebody else walks down the stairs, you're like, oh sorry, I want to get to know them.

Paul:

This reminds me of a time when I was briefly dating this girl and on a Saturday night we had plans and she said I'm not feeling well, I'm just gonna stay home. And I said okay, and I went out with other people and end up going to a party. And then she was at that party and she's in the kitchen and she goes oh hi. And all I said was oh hi. And then I think I just went, so I guess you're feeling better and she's like yeah, and I said I guess we need to have a talk. And she goes well, no, and I said no, I get it, and I was heart. But that woman actually broke my heart for like a year, but now I'm a better man for it.

Christel:

So did she go to the party with someone else?

Paul:

No, she just there. I'll tell you there's a whole other side story to that. Tell you, after I got so many dating stories.

Christel:

I can tell you that when I was 19 and I worked in a nightclub, I dated both the head bouncers. There was two of them Both at the same time. Okay, not, I didn't tell the other one about the other one. Well, of course did I not think that they would talk. Yeah, but it backfired.

Paul:

That's a good story. That's better than my. That woman has legs and they wrote a song about her story.

Christel:

I think I can remember even doing this. Yet, jeff, you like. I think I can even remember Going out with the one for dinner, but then I had to like wrap up the dinner to go out with the other one for drinks.

Paul:

That's kind of amazing. 19 you got to do that kind of stuff.

Christel:

Oh, yeah, have security also. Not only did I work there, but on the nights I didn't work there. I always wanted to have VIP access. Let's just yeah, I kind of had that at a.

Paul:

The funny part was I wasn't actually dating these women, but I was there, I was in a play out like Grandband or something like that and and things backfired. But anyways, that's another. It sounds worse than it is.

Christel:

Okay, it sounds like we're just airing all of our Well, I do.

Paul:

I remember the time when we were in Chicago together and I just was this like we weren't there together. There was an improv festival, we all gone down and that one night I just got confronted by like woman after woman and our friend Matt Barron was just like what is it with you? And I went this is common.

Christel:

Oh, really, I don't, I don't know. Did I confront you for?

Paul:

something you were part of it, yeah. Oh, that's going back in the obviously obviously forgotten, and I actually don't even remember what it was about.

Christel:

Well, let's just move on it. It obviously was about the time you called me Christine. We'll move on okay, Christie okay, so Now things are getting heated. What we're gonna see next week is because Kylie really was hoping to meet Avon. Avon, doesn't it?

Paul:

Yeah, that's even yeah.

Christel:

That was her number one choice of who she wanted to meet in Paradise. And then now she is already after day one. She had the date with will. She's really smitten with will, will smit with her. They're already a formed couple Now. Olivia is really pissed at both of them, but she wants to get back at them. And then, of course, we see Avon coming down those steps, so it's gonna be the new contestant, and what it looks like is gonna happen is that Kylie from this is what I'm gathering from what I've seen in the previews Kylie, I believe, is going to sort of put a pause on will and start talking to Avon, but I think Olivia is Going to be the one that gets to go on a date with him, and this is gonna cause even more drama.

Paul:

Yeah, no, it did they. This is why this show is so incredible, because they just they throw the snakes into the pit immediately and they just let them fight it out. Golden bachelor there's. We don't know who's the snake yet, so you?

Christel:

just have to wait. Hold it bachelor. They're like sitting around playing Scrabble there's no drama and they're all really like.

Paul:

Those are nice earrings, you look nice, you know, like it's just everyone's friendly to each other on Golden Bachelor, this one less so, but yes, that will be the the drama for next week. And and Avon, do you remember Avon? I don't know if I remember Avon.

Christel:

I can't do. We know what season he was from. I do recall Like when I saw him, I recognized him, but I can't remember.

Paul:

I feel like Gabby Rachel double season, or was it yeah?

Christel:

yeah, and it's gonna get really weird when I, as I said, katie comes down eventually, because Katie's the one that was engaged to Blake. It's gonna get really interesting with Hannah Brown, who is, we all know, the basically Bachelorette sweetheart, it's going to get interesting.

Paul:

No, if I can tell you one thing, I watched my Thursday night football but the previews are like, ooh, maybe I need to watch this on Thursday and flip back to football. You know, I don't know. And the part that I think you and I should do at some point which would it's kind of like going to Chicago is the truth box. The truth box seems like it's going to be the destruction of the whole show, because they show someone smashing the truth box.

Christel:

Yeah, I think it looked like he was braiding to smash it, but I could be wrong. But do you think happens with the truth box?

Paul:

You know what? It's usually so high school, low end cutting, where they say things like well, they ask leading questions, like even of us. It'd be like between the two co-hosts. Who do you hate more? You know what I mean Like and it's like wait, there's no other choice, right? So it's things like who's this sluttyist, who's the blank, who's not here for the right reasons, who wants just social media followers and not love, and then I think they pick an answer and then that person usually kind of gets bullied in front of the group and then everyone decides oh, this is my moment to air out my truth. And then it gets meaner and meaner.

Christel:

Okay, because I think it's going to be something where they have to actually disclose how they're feeling.

Paul:

Right.

Christel:

Right. So, for example, kylie is actually partnered up with Will, but then she put in the box oh I really wish I was with Avin, and I think then they're going to disclose all these secrets and be like it's a truth box, but now we're going to share all of your truths and that's how everyone's going to get hurt and messed up.

Paul:

Let's circle back to that to see if your prediction comes true and we'll see if my prediction about a former couple getting married on the beach. This is good stuff. I like it.

Christel:

Okay, well, this was a great first introduction to Golden Bachelor, to Bachelor in Paradise. There's so much more to come. We are going to have a lot of drama.

Paul:

And for our American listeners, African Lion Safari is like a animal zoo that you kind of drive through, but an hour west of Toronto Just in case Ten minutes from there. Yeah, and your parents live very close to it.

Christel:

Yeah, it's really important.

Paul:

Do they hear lions and stuff like that?

Christel:

No, not that close, but it is important to mention that, yes, there's this great story where my dad once claimed to have seen a monkey in our tree on the property that escaped from an African Lion Safari. We don't know.

Paul:

But you know what? I give that monkey credit that it's like a living hell.

Christel:

Yeah, yeah. No, it's a terrible place. You're just basically blasting exhaust in all the animals faces, and it's always so hot because it's only open in the summer, so all the animals are just sleeping anyway, so you don't see much.

Paul:

Maybe that monkey's like. You know how planted the apes? There's a monkey that eventually rises and, like, can speak, and then leads the ape revolution. Maybe that's that monkey.

Christel:

Yeah, we'll see, stay tuned.

Paul:

Another prediction to circle back to. Well, have a great week and we'll talk to you later. Alligator not to be found at African Lion Safari.

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